THAT’S SO DALLAS
Texas’ first pro football team sucked. “An orphaned group of wayward misfits,” they were. Thanksgiving game 1952: They took the field following nine blowout losses. An audience of 2,000 dotted the Cotton Bowl (30,000 had attended the earlier high school match). Then, the madcap Dallas Texans produced “the craziest thing yet: a football miracle.” Please, ESPN, pleeease make this a “30 for 30“. (ESPN)

Rhett Miller

Here’s a free trivia tidbit that did not make the newsletter: The insanely wealthy purchaser of the NFL’s worst-ever football team in 1952 is grandfather to Dallas’ own songwriting guru Rhett Miller of the Old 97s. What?!

THE CATCH UP: YOUR DAILY DALLAS NEWS
Like children on Christmas morning: The Dallas Cowboys players simply cannot handle that big red Salvation Army bell. (And like petulant parents, the league won’t let ’em have their fun). (Sports Day)

The siren song of that damn red bucket is apparently too much for some Cowboys. Courtesy Salvation Army on Twitter (@SalvationArmyUS)

‘I felt safe, accepted’: The homeless crack addict wrote a “thank you” letter to the unlikely people who steered him toward sobriety, and the whole situation could be a micro-level example for property owner-homeless human interactions.  (Lake Highlands Advocate/DallasMagazine)

Salt (water) of the earth: Meet Boomer and Eddie, a couple of sea turtles who have come to DFW to heal. And to entertain us landlocked humans. (Dallas Morning News/YouTube)

When they come to town: A couple weeks ago, this popular site asked Dallas readers about our city, and then it published this not-too-shabby list-y of Dallas travel tips and highlights. And when you are the one traveling? They did the same with cities all over the map. (Lifehacker)

It’s the most make-a-list time of year: He got a list, he got a list, everybody got lists! (C’mon — “Boardwalk Empire” fan, anyone?) Anyhoo, they have a list for when you want to go solo, spend some quality time with No. 1. Me time, you know? (Dallas Observer)

Aaaand … there go the plants: Notice gale-force winds Sunday? A chill was blowing in, and (Ollie Williams’ voice) “it’s gon be cold!” But it will not be raining sideways! (CBS DFW)

HARD NEWS: WE’LL MAKE IT QUICK
As his little boys stood by: A man is handcuffed at a suburban Dallas mall. His only offense was being a black man in America, he says. Based on publicized facts, his claim could be true. The saleswoman who suspected theft has not given an alternate reason, anyway. (Dallas Morning News)

Medicine-tourism tragedy: The local real estate agent who traveled to Mexico for cut-rate plastic surgery, then slipped into a coma, has died.(CBS DFW)

Teen shot to death: A 17-year-old on Thanksgiving Thursday morning died from a gunshot. Witnesses saw three young men running from the crime scene, near Skyline High School. (NBC DFW)

BE THAT FOODIE KNOW-IT-ALL 
Serving South Dallas: For more than a decade, the woman who owns Truckers Café on Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard has been serving Thanksgiving supper — with a “side of hope” as the TV folks put it (that’s soo TV) — for hungry people from South Dallas‘ streets. She’s a “momma” to everyone, one recipient says. Here come the waterworks … (WFAA)

Open. Open. Open: Our watering mouths cannot wait much longer for the opening of Jarams Donuts. You are right there in our faces, donuts. Let’s do this thing. We have secured a slightly delayed grand-open date. (Lakewood Advocate)

So. Much. Pink. OK, so, you know that viral commercial with thepooping unicorn? Yeah, well it’s kind-a come true. (Culture Map)

EVENTS: OR, HOW TO AVOID LAME DATES
MONDAY
—If you’ve been to the Vegas strip, you’ve seen the billboards: the Thunder from Down Under, that troupe of greased-up, muscle-y pants-purging performers from Australia, are in Dallas, at House of Blues. (Details)
—It’s Noir November at the Alamo Drafthouse in Lake Highlands. Check out “The Maltese Falcon” at 7 p.m. (Details)

TUESDAY
—Elf. Not just a funny Will Ferrell flick, but also a live musical. And it starts Tuesday at Fair Park Music Hall. (Details)
—It’s the ultimate teen pop music fest-y, the annual Jingle Ball at American Airlines Center, this year featuring Shawn Mendes, Calvin Harris, Alessia Cara and others. (Details)