Odds of winning $548 million jackpot: One in 303 million.

“Dumb and Dumber”

THAT’S SO DALLAS
Any Dallas Cowboys book worth reading dishes heretofore unpublished dirt. And sometimes it’s downright disturbing. For example, some of us never will hear the name Charles Haley without cringing and banging our head against a wall to purge certain images. This latest tells the true reason Bill Parcels bailed, and it wasn’t T.O. (NBC DFW) Also explained: Why we’re stuck with coach Jason Garrett for the foreseeable future. (CBS)

CATCH UP: YOUR NEWS DIGEST
Sky’s the limit: A study shows Dallas’ Love Field is the country’s quickest growing airport. More destination offerings following the 2014 lift of aviation restrictions likely fueled the airfield’s commercial takeoff. (Business Journal)

Need for speed: Dallas’ imminent, if slow to materialize, bullet train today has a partner to help us build and operate the much-anticipated mechanism promising 90-minute Dallas-to-Houston trips by 2024-ish. (KHOU)

Do you like your gig? Relatively few people today hold traditional positions. More than ever, we’re working multiple jobs, trying to piece together a livelihood. A Dallas radio host discusses the gig economy and how we wound up here. (KERA/THINK!)

$2 for a lotto ticket: And spend the hours leading up to the drawing, Friday night at 11, fantasizing about $548 million, the third-largest jackpot in the game’s history. Your odds of actually winning are one in 303 million. To quote ever-daft, perpetually optimistic Lloyd in “Dumb and Dumber”: “So you’re telling me there’s a chance … yeah!” (CBS DFW)

Medical marvel: For the first time in Texas, doctors operated on a fetus in the womb. The baby, diagnosed with spina bifida, was born two months ago and can kick his little legs, so experts cautiously call his in-utero surgery a success. (NBC DFW)

Motherf*cking squirrel on this motherf*cking plane: In August Dallas-based Southwest Airlines banned so-called emotional support animals, except dogs and cats. (CNBC) Other airlines have similar rules, but some passengers cannot seem to accept that the likes of “emotional support squirrels” are no-fly listed. (WFAA/NPR)

This is my emotional support squirrel. Taken at White Rock Lake by one of my running buddies.

HARD NEWS: IT’LL BE QUICK
Accused killer arrested: A man suspected of killing two people at a Pleasant Grove gas station is in custody after Dallas police tracked him down at Town East Mall.  (Dallas Morning News)

Incarcerated for illegitimate voting: A woman starts a 5-year prison sentence for voting while ineligible because of a felony conviction. She previously did three years for a tax-related crime. She says she didn’t know she couldn’t vote and only hit the polls after her mom pressed her to go set a good example for her children. (Dallas Post Tribune)

Good app: Cops and their K-9 partner tracked armed-robbery suspects using a victim’s “find my phone” app. The perps had 10 hot phones in possession, believed to be bootie from other hold-ups. (DPD Beat)

DINING: BE THAT FOODIE KNOW-IT-ALL
There he goes again: Chef Graham Dodds suddenly left his culinary-director post at the Statler Hotel. He’s close-lipped about his exit, bound by a severance agreement. (CraveDFW)

We’re number (30) 1! A financial study ranks Dallas 31 among “2018’s best foodie cities.” Findings consider cost of groceries, affordability and accessibility of high-quality restaurants and food festivals per capita. (Wallet Hub)

Frost bit: Two ice cream shops close in one week. Not lower temps but higher rents, we suspect, are to blame. Either way, we are sad. (Culture Map)

EVENTS: OR, HOW TO AVOID LAME DATES
FRIDAY
— It’s the best karaoke, where you don’t really need to sing, just yell angrily — punk rock karaoke. It’s at Double Wide from 9-midnight. (Details)
— Poet/musician Brian Cox’s Poets on X+ presents selected pieces at Mighty Fine Arts. Sign up at 7:30 to participate in the open-mic portion of the evening. (Details)

SATURDAY
— One does not simply buy Día de los Muertos décor. Rather, attend a skull-painting workshop with artist Alfonso Castillo at the Oak Cliff Cultural Center, and craft your own. (Details)
— Check out Paula’s Everyday Petals, a modern florist company that doesn’t break the bank, in its new Oak Cliff space and enjoy margaritas and mariachi while you’re there between 7-9. Your kiddos are welcome. (Details)

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