THAT’S SO DALLAS

Will the future ever take flight? To those of us who assumed flying automobiles would be an everyday thing by 2018 — thanks, “Jetsons” — it is taking For. Ev. Er. But better late than never, s’pose. Several startups are prepping for takeoff. (Quartz). Dallas, Los Angeles and a third unnamed market is promised Uber Elevate by 2023. (Auto Blog)

THE CATCH UP: YOUR NEWS DIGEST
Not too far off: We surmised the place had been around since, say, the Alamo. Sandy Lake Amusement Park was in biz almost 50 years, owned by the same family who sold it last week to neighbor, Southwest Landscaping, which plans to use it to store trees and plants. Well, we do love trees, right? (NBC DFW)

Not for the faint: July 4, 1991. In what came to be known in Peru as the Santa Barbara massacre, 15 civilians met an grisly demise — torture, rape, extrajudicial killing. A former Peruvian army second sergeant was apprehended in Dallas; officials in Peru say he partook in the massacre and must face charges. (CBS DFW)

Hattiesburg, Mississippi: Portlandia’s Fred Armisen hails from there, but the town claims no NFL team. One resident became a diehard DallasCowboys fan. She sported a roadside Cowboys-themed mailbox. Cherished it. She’s “grieving” from its recent theft, pleading, “Please bring my Dallas Cowboys mailbox home.” (WDAM)

Post Posty Fest: As we’ve seen, the WaPo music critic crucified Dallas’ Post Malone, calling the tat-faced rapper “a rhinestone cowboy who looks like he crawled out of a primordial swamp of nacho cheese.” A critic closer to home concurs some Post-y reproach is in order, but he’s not so sure the dude totally deserved this takedown. (Texas Monthly)

House of Cards

“House of Cards” fans, proceed with care: The show’s fictional Claire Underwood, the backstory goes, is a Dallas debutante who attended the Hockaday School. (Preston Hollow Advocate) Artists installed a statue of Claire last week at Love Field. If you haven’t finished the most recent season, avert your eyes. There are spoilers. (Fort Worth Star-Telegram)

But, uh-oh: In real life, Dallas Fort Worth International Airport has been ranked among the country’s 15 worst. (Business Insider)

HARD NEWS: IT’LL BE QUICK
72 pounds of heroin: That’s, like, twice the weight of a medium-sized dog, or the full poundage of your 6-year-old niece … on the serious, if you (or someone you know) is hooked on heroin, now is a viable time to seek treatment, because a Dallas dealer went down hard, and the Feds have the dope. (CBS DFW)

We did not realize, but: Seems it is relatively simple to escape from theDallas County Jail. Not that we’ve tried. Or would. But Raymond Aguero, 28, slipped right out. And he is not the first. (Dallas Morning News)

The bomb squad: Authorities arrived at a local news station Monday morning to investigate a small package left near the front door. Turns out it was nothing dangerous. (Fox 4)

DINING: BE THAT FOODIE KNOW-IT-ALL
Diner en Blanc: The annual posh-tastic dress-in-white, outdoor, cloak-and-dagger dinner pop-up saw guests, who paid some $200, arrive by bus Friday evening. But their anticipated feast, some complained, failed in all kinds of ways. (Dallas Morning News)

Comedian Aziz Ansari: The “Parks and Rec” star dined at East DallasVietnamese restaurant Mot Hai Ba when he was in town for a show last week. What? It’s the same place Kanye got his noodles on. (DallasEater)La Popular Tamale House: THE spot serving holiday tamales since 1984, will open a second, seasonal pop-up shop. Not far from the existing location, the temp store is at Fitzhugh and Bryan. (Culture Map)